There are lots of occasions when it’s appropriate to say “sorry” at work and they’re usually when you make a huge blunder.
However, a lot of professionals have unconsciously become chronic over-apologizers because they keep resorting to saying sorry in all kinds of situations.
If you belong to this category, you might think that constantly saying sorry is all in the spirit of politeness, but the truth is that it can make you look weak and incompetent in the eyes of the people you work with.
It can also lessen the value of future apologies and create a pattern of insecurity and self-doubt that can be tough to shake.
You can limit your penchant for saying sorry and bring back originality, credibility, and sincerity to the way you apologize by adopting other actions and phrases to say what you mean to say.
In this article, I’ve listed out some other ways you can go about saying sorry at work without throwing that word around frequently. So whenever you feel a “sorry” hanging at the tip of your tongue, consider saying or doing these things instead.
Other Ways to Say “Sorry” At Work
1. Acknowledge what happened
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You don’t always have to say sorry to show that you’re sorry. When you’ve made a mistake or let the ball drop at work, you can show the person or people involved that you recognize that something unfortunate happened by acknowledging the situation.
Acknowledgment shows that you understand that your actions or inaction affected others or the business in a certain way. It lets the other party know that you can empathize with their feelings and reactions about the event.
People just want to feel heard and understood, especially when they’ve been wronged. They don’t want to have to explain themselves and the reason for their anger or disappointment.
When you take this burden off them by acknowledging the issue and how it might have affected them, you’ll legitimize their feelings and help drive the conversation forward.
You don’t have to try to shift blame or pretend like the situation is not as serious as they are making it out to be.
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2. Express regret for what went wrong
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The whole point of saying sorry in the first place is to show the other person that your emotions align with their emotions.
It’s to help them see that you feel bad for what you’ve done just like they feel bad for having been at the receiving end of whatever happened.
You can demonstrate that you are sincerely sorry for the event by expressing the regret you feel and the reason why you’re tendering the apology. I mean, think about the last time you were truly mad at someone for something they did.
You probably felt better when they admitted their wrongs and explained how awful hurting you made them feel. That expression of regret likely meant more to you than them saying sorry.
It’s the same for the people you encounter in the workplace. Voicing your regret over what happened will ring more sincere than saying sorry a dozen times.
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3. Demonstrate empathy
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Saying sorry is an expression of sympathy, and most people don’t want to be sympathized with, especially when you’ve done something that negatively affected them.
They don’t just want you to do the expected thing and try to gloss over their complaints or feelings about the situation by uttering a word or phrase that you don’t really mean.
So instead of giving them your sympathy, approach them with empathy by illustrating that you understand where they are coming from and what they might be feeling. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if you were in their position.
Relate with them from that point of view. If you failed to turn in work that you were assigned before the due date, say something that shows that you understand how frustrating it must have been for the other person to have to rearrange, set project timeliness or deal with complaints from clients because of your inefficiency.
Whatever the situation may be, you can smooth things over quickly and make the other person feel heard, understood, and valued by practicing empathy.
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4. Take responsibility for your actions
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Simply saying sorry is not as effective as owning up to what happened and accepting your faults in the matter.
If you say something disrespectful to your colleagues, you can get them to forget about your comments and maintain a healthy working relationship by admitting where you went wrong.
For example, you can say, “I was wrong to have said such a mean thing about you. Even though I intended it as a joke, I realize that it hurt your feelings, and I should never have gone there. I will never cross that line again.”
This statement acknowledges what happened, takes responsibility for it, and makes it clear that you regret your actions and are sorry for what you did.
It’s a stronger response than just saying “I’m sorry.” Taking full responsibility doesn’t make you weak, but it shows that you’re the kind of person who’s not afraid to admit their mistakes and move on from them.
Taking ownership of your faults will only serve to foster trust and a stronger understanding between you and your boss, co-worker, or employee.
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5. Swap out the apology for appreciation
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One way to keep yourself from apologizing too much at work and unconsciously casting yourself in a less confident and qualified role is to start showing appreciation whenever you feel the need to apologize.
When you want to ask your boss or coworker for help, say “Thank you for taking the time to walk me through this” instead of “Sorry for taking up your time.”
When you take a while to respond to an email or show up a few minutes late to a minute, say “Thank you for your patience” rather than “Sorry for the delay.”
Replacing apologies with gratitude and appreciation in situations when you’ve not done anything wrong or the outcome was something beyond your control, will help you come across as more self-assured and competent at work.
At the same time, it acknowledges the inconvenience that you may have caused and tells the other party that you are grateful for their understanding as you work towards a mutually-satisfying solution.
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6. Focus on resolving the issue
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As the saying goes, action speaks louder than words. This is doubly true in the workplace where you want to be seen as a doer.
Constantly saying sorry at work can lead the people you work with to start seeing you as someone who is unprofessional, prone to making excuses, and in possession of poor work ethics.
Instead of always apologizing, you can demonstrate your remorse over the error you’ve made by assuming responsibility and immediately taking steps to correct the situation and minimize the fallout.
For instance, if you had a disagreement with a coworker, you could put an end to the dispute by bringing them lunch or taking them out for drinks.
Your boss and coworkers will appreciate the efforts you make to repair the situation and prevent it from occurring again more than they would appreciate you just apologizing and moving on as if nothing ever happened.
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7. Respond confidently to the mistake
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A lot of the time, people who tend to over-apologize at work do so because they lack confidence in themselves, their skills, and their opinions.
A good way to say sorry without saying sorry is to build up your self-confidence by accepting that everybody makes mistakes and that one misstep does not define you because you are bringing so much more to the table.
Rather than saying “Sorry, I let you down,” or “Sorry, I wasn’t well-prepared” when you mess up a presentation, meeting, or project, you’re better off saying “That didn’t go the way I’d planned, but here’s what I’m going to do to fix it.”
Displaying competence even when you’ve erred will earn you more points than a long apology stating how sorry you are for how you messed over and over again.
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8. Offer an explanation for what went wrong
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You are allowed to struggle and make mistakes from time to time. As long as it’s not a habitual thing, you don’t have to be ashamed or say you’re sorry all month long because of it.
Instead, you can embrace honesty and tell the truth about what happened that led to you doing or not doing what you did. Your boss and coworkers will understand because they’ve experienced bad days and made mistakes of their own at one time or the other.
There’s no need to try to come up with excuses or lie about the contributing factors. Just admit what happened to provide context and help the other person see the situation from your point of view.
If you failed to turn in a project in time because you had too much on your plate, just say that so your manager or team members can come to your aid. An honest explanation can be a more potent way of saying you’re sorry.
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9. Validate the other person’s feelings
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One of the important aspects of an apology that most people tend to neglect in favor of just saying “sorry” and getting it over with is giving legitimacy to the thoughts and feelings of the person you’re apologizing to.
Unless they have a habit of complaining, chances are the other person is not bringing things up just to stir the pot.
You’ve probably done or said something that affected them, so you need to take that into account and assure them that their feelings are valid even if you don’t completely understand where they’re coming from.
Being able to welcome different viewpoints including those that conflict with your own is a sign of emotional and intellectual maturity.
Acknowledging their feelings will allow your customers, colleagues, or manager to feel respected and heard without you having to say “sorry” when you don’t necessarily agree with their position on the matter.
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10. Show an interest in correcting the issue
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Your show of empathy or remorse will not seem genuine if you don’t at least demonstrate that not only do you take the other person’s concerns or frustrations seriously, but you are also committed to finding a solution that works for everyone.
Make sure your tone suggests that you take the matter seriously, then come up with a plan, and discuss it with them or just share some of the ways you can help fix the issue.
This way, you’re not just saying sorry, you’re moving away from the unfortunate incident and taking meaningful action to effect positive change.
If you’re not sure what you can do to fix the issue, just come right out and ask the other party what you can do to resolve the issue. This will show them that you’re eager to correct the mistake instead of brushing it off.
You can even take things a step further by providing a timeline for rectifying the issue.
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11. Speak from a practical angle, not an emotional one
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When you’re exchanging ideas in the workplace, you may come across opinions that are wildly different from yours. You may even think some opinions are completely nonsensical.
In a bid to address this disparate opinion and not offend the person behind it, it’s common to unconsciously say things like “I’m sorry, I don’t agree with you” or “I’m sorry but you’re wrong.”
However, saying sorry in these contexts can dilute your message and make it seem like you’re not confident in your opinions. So skip the sorry parade and just try to speak in a way that suggests you’re thinking practically.
For example, you can say “This might be a controversial idea, but let’s consider the XYZ angle.” This way, you’re being respectful and kind toward their views without giving up your own power.
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12. Ask for useful feedback
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When you just say “sorry”, your bosses or colleagues might see it as an attempt to lay the issue to rest quickly without making any attempts to repair the situation or avoid similar outcomes in the future.
You can tender a more effective apology by asking them to tell you exactly what they didn’t like about the way you handled the situation and how you can improve.
Not only will this approach go over better, but it will also allow you to utilize the feedback you receive to increase your self-confidence.
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13. Offer reassurance
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Another way of saying sorry at work can be to reassure the affected or complaining party that you understand how they were affected by your actions and that you’re already taking action to achieve a more positive outcome the next time around.
You can restore their confidence in you by helping them see that what happened will not be a regular occurrence and that you’re sure you can find a solution.
If you can help the person see that you empathize with their struggles and will do your best or work with them to fix the problem, they will be more inclined to trust you and not dwell on the situation.
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14. Clarify your intention or position
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Let’s say someone at work asks you about something you said and it’s clear to you that they misunderstood you. Your first reaction might be to say “Sorry for the confusion. I actually meant that you should do this instead of that.”
Do you really have anything to be sorry for in this situation? No. So you don’t have to say “sorry” and make it seem like you’re at fault and there’s a need to apologize for them misconstruing what you said or meant.
Instead, you can say something along the lines of, “I understand how you might have arrived at that conclusion, but what I actually meant was XYZ.”
Even though people are annoyed, disappointed, or confused about something you’ve done or failed to do, you can set their minds at ease by thanking them for their feedback and clarifying your stand. Explain your reasoning without saying sorry.
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15. Show them that you learned from the mistake
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Another way to say sorry at work when you’ve made a big mistake is to point out what the experience has taught you. Focusing on what you gained from the situation moves the conversation away from the mistake and towards more positive topics.
At the end of the day what your coworkers and managers are truly interested in is not hearing you say you’re sorry, but in knowing that you won’t let the situation repeat itself.
They just want to see that you’ve grown from the experience and you’ve used it to figure out a better way to handle similar circumstances in the future.
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16. Explain what you will do to correct the outcome
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Another way to say sorry at work without making yourself through posterchild for messing things up is to skip the drawn-out apology and just go straight to making amends for the situation.
Keep in mind that how you go about fixing the issue will depend on the person or people involved.
For example, let’s say you made a mistake that led to your supervisor or colleague getting a tongue-lashing from a client or having to work on weekends as a result. You can acknowledge your sloppiness and then say that you will help them with one of their difficult tasks for a week to make it up to them.
Whether you’ve accidentally damaged company property or you made a distasteful comment about a coworker, or you broke your boss’ trust, think of what you can do to right things. Then tell them exactly how you plan to fix things.
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17. Apologize genuinely without saying sorry
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Saying sorry is not a complete or sincere apology especially when you tend to say it a lot. If you truly want to express how sorry you are, you have to mean it.
Your apology needs to come from your heart and it must be accompanied by an admittance of your mistake and a promise to implement changes so that the issue doesn’t arise again.
You must try to understand how the other party feels and the part you played in the problem even if you started out with the best intentions.
If you’re unclear about your role in what happened, you can have an open conversation with the person about the issue.
This will give you both a stronger grasp of each other’s point of view and allow you to craft an apology that truly expresses your remorse and your intention to resolve the situation.
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18. Live up to your promises
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The best way to say you’re sorry without saying sorry is to stay true to your word. After admitting where you went wrong, empathizing with the other person, and explaining what you intend to do to fix the issue and prevent it from happening again, you need to follow through on your promises.
By keeping your promises, you will demonstrate to your colleagues and bosses that you are genuinely apologetic and interested in building a good working relationship.
However, failing to live up to the promises you made will cause the trust between you and others in the workplace to fracture even further.
It will make it a lot harder for them to believe you and accept your apology the next time you make a mistake, no matter how sincere you claim to be.
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Final Words
Apologizing when you mess up or when you’re in the wrong at work is very important because it shows you have the humility to accept your failings and work to rectify them.
But having a habit of always saying sorry at work for everything, big or small can have a negative effect and create a wrong impression of you.
The above strategies can help you express contrition and smooth things over whenever things go awry at work without you falling prey to over-apologizing.