Business Network International is a decades-old franchise organization that allows business owners from different industries to connect with each other and share referrals.
It’s not an MLM or pyramid scheme, but it’s not for everyone. BNI relies on everyone in the group giving referrals to everyone else in the group.
Every BNI local franchise has meetings, and only one service professional from a specific industry can join the chapter (such as one plumber, one carpenter, one accountant, etc.).
Everyone in the group tries to send referrals to others in the group – for example, if you know someone who needs plumbing work done, you can refer them to the plumber in the group.
The plumber, meanwhile, can refer to a business owner who needs an IT guy if you are an IT service professional.
While BNI is not a scam in any sense, experiences vary widely since every chapter is a separate franchise and operates under different management. Many people end up paying hundreds of dollars for low-quality or no referrals and experience horror stories within their local groups.
Many people have described BNI as a sort of cult, as the group often has many rules and regulations that you must meet, such as attending every meeting. It can suck a lot of time out of you, and a lot of BNI members won’t stop talking about BNI as if it is the greatest thing in the world.
Before you decide to join BNI, it is essential to be aware of the many horror stories its members have experienced. It’s not like every member will experience a horror story, but knowing about them will help you make a better-informed decision as to whether BNI is worth joining or just a waste of your energy.
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BNI Horror Stories
- Horror Story #1: Rose Red & Lavender CEO Experienced Abuse and Harassment by a Member, and the Chapter Allowed Him to Stay
- Horror Story #2: Bullying, Gossip, Affairs, Cruel Jokes, and Fake Referrals
- Horror Story #3: Nishit Gururani of One Digital Was Frustrated and Had No Success With BNI
- Horror Story #4: Picky and Cheap Members Pushing MLM Schemes
- Common Themes and Lessons
- Conclusion
BNI Horror Stories
Horror Story #1: Rose Red & Lavender CEO Experienced Abuse and Harassment by a Member, and the Chapter Allowed Him to Stay
Kimberly Sevilla is the CEO and founder of Rose Red & Lavender, a floral and event studio founded in 2008 in Williamsburg, New York City. She has since moved to the Hudson Valley.
Writing on Quora, she detailed her horrifying experience at a BNI chapter when she was a member – she was an officer of the group, in fact.
Besides being constantly pressured to find referrals for others – something that seems common in BNI groups – she wrote that she had an extremely negative experience while hiring a carpenter who was in her group, which ultimately led to her departure from BNI.
After hiring the carpenter to do a small job involving two shelves, he demanded more money than the original quote he gave her. She refused to pay him more – you can’t go back on your initial quote and start charging more after the fact.
The carpenter became furious and abusive, leaving a voicemail cursing at her, calling her names and insults, and threatening to “mess her up.”
He continued being a member of the group, sitting next to her in meetings while smirking at her and trying to force eye contact, making her feel very uncomfortable.
She had to ask someone to accompany her to her car every time she went to the parking lot because she was afraid for her safety.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio, Pexels
This was despite lodging a complaint against him with the group – they simply did not do anything about him and let him stay.
In the end, he was kicked out, but only later, after he messed up a job for another member. This was after she had already left, though.
What can we learn from this? The moral of this story is that you must be really careful about the chapter you join because the character of the chapter will depend wholly on the nature of the individuals in that chapter.
If the chapter has abusive, horrible people and the other members don’t care, you will have a terrible experience, and you may face harassment or feel unsafe.
Horror Story #2: Bullying, Gossip, Affairs, Cruel Jokes, and Fake Referrals
Sharon Stephens is a self-employed freelance translation consultant who is also a former BNI member. When she first joined a local BNI chapter back in 2018, she writes, she was initially hyped, pumped, and excited, as many newbies to BNI often are.
She was determined to make the most of the membership she paid for, including helping others grow their business and growing her own through referrals.
However, just a few weeks in, her initial idealism was shattered when another BNI member quietly told her that the good vibes wouldn’t last. She was shocked at first and wondered what was meant by that, but she found out soon enough.
As she spent a bit more time in BNI and as the initial honeymoon period faded away, the rose-colored glasses she had been wearing started to come off as well.
She started hearing the gossip, rumors, and cruel jokes made behind the backs of others, including about people she really liked and admired.
She heard about affairs within the chapter, and she found out that many of the referrals weren’t even genuine. There were a lot of people handing out fake referrals or cold leads just for the sake of ticking off a box.
While she tried to fight for her place within the chapter, she said that the bullies eventually won, and she ended up leaving due to the pervasive hostile atmosphere within the group.
What can we learn from this?
Again, it really matters which chapter you join. Some have wonderful people in it who genuinely want to help you grow your business through authentic referrals.
Other chapters, on the other hand, have people who don’t really care about you. They are solely focused on themselves and will hand out fake referrals just to pretend they are helping others.
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Horror Story #3: Nishit Gururani of One Digital Was Frustrated and Had No Success With BNI
Photo by Oladimeji Ajegbile, Pexels
Nishit Gururani runs One Digital, a PR and Communication firm that serves architects, designers, and design product brands in India.
According to Nishit, his experience at BNI has been very underwhelming. He writes on LinkedIn that BNI members operate like cult members, and you can easily identify them by the pins, stickers, and other paraphernalia that makes it clear to the world that they are BNI members.
They are proud of being BNI members. They talk the talk and walk the walk, but they will rarely close on a deal, he says.
They might make eye contact, talk pleasantly and professionally, and say all the right things, as they have been taught to do.
When it comes to closing a deal, however, things get frustrating, to the point that he now instructs his sales team to avoid pitching to BNI members due to the amount of time wasted with its members.
What went wrong, and what can we learn from this? According to Nishit, BNI just doesn’t work well if you have a unique niche like he does, as he targets a very specific target audience.
If you are a plumber, electrician, or interior designer, it is easy to find referrals through BNI.
Everyone knows someone who needs some plumbing or electricity work done, for example, or a business that needs help setting up their IT systems. If you are a lawyer who helps businesses write contracts, it will be easy to find clients as well.
However, the more niche and specific your business gets, the harder it will be to find success via BNI.
Horror Story #4: Picky and Cheap Members Pushing MLM Schemes
This negative experience was posted not by a BNI member but by a waitress who had a gig serving BNI members during their regular meetings.
She wrote that the members who would come to attend would be really picky and cheap, and they were often snake oil salesmen who ran MLM schemes and tried to recruit her into their schemes.
She also wrote that based on what she overheard during her time serving the members of the meetings, BNI did not seem particularly helpful or valuable to the members there.
What can we learn from this?
Again, it depends on the local chapter you are going to be involved in. Some chapters have members who are successful business professionals and entrepreneurs, and working with them can help you grow your business.
On the other hand, there are chapters where the people there are not true businessmen. They may not be successful in their businesses – perhaps they are real estate agents or house flippers who never made successful deals – and have no network of value to offer you.
Or, even worse, they may be involved in an MLM scheme and join BNI to try to recruit others to their schemes. In that case, all that time and money spent on BNI would be a total waste.
Common Themes and Lessons
So what lesson do we get from these stories? As Ron Stauffer writes on his blog, while BNI does have pros, it has many cons as well.
Here are some takeaways that we can learn from the BNI horror stories I mentioned above and Ron Stauffer’s blog, as well as other stories I have seen on Reddit, Quora, YouTube, and elsewhere on the internet from current and former BNI members alike.
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Be Prepared for the Time Commitment
BNI is a massive time commitment. You have to meet once a week, and while you might think that an hour or two a week is not a lot, there are additional meetings that you must attend, such as one-on-one sessions with other members and other programs.
In addition, BNI typically has strict attendance policies, which means you must attend each meeting. You can’t schedule any other business meetings or commitments during that time, nor can you schedule personal obligations.
Photo by Jeffrey Paa Kwesi Opare, Pexels
If you miss more than a few meetings within a certain period, you will be booted from the chapter and lose your membership. That is crazy, in my opinion.
Imagine having to block out an entire weekday morning every week. Will it be worth it?
Perhaps, but perhaps not. It really depends on the quality of your local BNI chapter and whether you will get quality referrals in the long run.
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Be Prepared To Network, Give to Others, and Wait for Results
To gain from BNI, you have to give to BNI. There is a lot of pressure to perform and provide other members with referrals.
In the beginning, do not expect other BNI members to trust you. They want to see that you stick around and will provide enough value to them before they will give back to you.
It could take months or years before you finally start earning back the money and time you spend on BNI fees and meetings.
That is okay, as that is the nature of networking in general. You put in the time and build up a network for long-term results, so don’t quit after a few months if you do find a chapter that is worth joining.
The pressure to provide referrals can backfire on you, though. You may lose trusted customers, clients, or acquaintances because you referred them to untrustworthy and unprofessional BNI members.
Therefore, weigh the pros and cons. Losing a couple of clients might be the cost of doing business with BNI and earning other clients, but if you lose a major client you really need for your bottom line, is it worth it?
You also have to worry about the damaged reputation you might have, so make sure you only work with trustworthy BNI members.
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It Really Depends on the Chapter
Photo by Christina Morillo, Pexels
Some chapters have great members who will help you grow, while others have horrible and awful individuals who will put you down.
If you get invited to a BNI meeting or get pressured by an individual to join their local chapter, try it out first before you commit and/or do additional research into the people who are in that chapter.
Here are some things to consider:
- What is the atmosphere like? Are the people uptight and highly critical of each other, selfishly focused on their own gains and handing out cold referrals that will never pan out to tick a box? Or is the culture helpful and uplifting, with people who have good senses of humor and are easygoing?
- How many people are in the chapter? A small chapter isn’t necessarily bad, but it could mean that you are less likely to get referrals, as there will simply be fewer people referring people to you.
- What is your business? If you own a very niche business that doesn’t have a general target audience, it might not be worth it, as the members might not know anyone who would fit your target audience.
- How many referrals do you need? If you own a high-ticket business that only needs 2–3 referrals/clients a year to break even, BNI can be very worth your time. All those meetings can help you land those few clients you need to be profitable.
- Is the chapter growing? Or is membership declining because people are dropping out? Are people enthusiastic about helping others or disillusioned with BNI? If a chapter is dying, don’t waste your time joining it.
- What are the membership fees? Can you afford it? Every chapter will charge different dues. Where do they meet? Is it in person, or do they meet online, which really prevents you from making those same types of real connections? Do they meet in a coffee shop or an office? Is it in an environment you would like?
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You Might Feel Like You Are in a Cult
Some BNI chapters are like cults. The people there will never shut up about BNI and how you must adhere to its rules and guidelines, which they consider as if God himself wrote them.
If you try to speak out against their rules and beliefs or suggest change, you will be silenced.
Photo by Moïsek2l Officiel, Pexels
They might overdo it with the BNI stationary and merch. There may be an unspoken hierarchy, and people who don’t adhere to the rules may be looked down on or slighted, perhaps subtly.
If you visit a BNI group and feel like you are in a cult, avoid it. Look for other BNI chapters near you.
Generally, the chapters that operate like cults will be the least helpful to you anyway. The people there are probably not interested in fostering genuine connections and helping the other members.
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Conclusion
As mentioned above, there are a lot of networking organizations that are merely fronts for MLM and pyramid schemes. BNI, fortunately, is not one of them, but it also isn’t for everyone.
Remember that every BNI chapter is different. It is a franchise company, after all, so every chapter has its own administration.
Most importantly, the members of the chapter are what make up the spirit and determine the overall vibe of the particular chapter.
Before joining BNI, search for a chapter you feel comfortable in. Make sure you have the type of business whose services are widely needed and can benefit from referrals.
Also, be prepared for a long-term commitment. Not only can it be costly, but it will take a lot of time out of each week, and you will have to have the patience to wait things out until you finally start getting those referrals you were hoping for.
